


Push It Back Down Blackout Blood In Your Eye

by shugarcone



Category: Half-Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware
Genre: Act 3 spoilers, Angst, Blackouts, Blood and Injury, Coomer and Tommy make really cute sandwiches but nobody gets to eat them :(, Crying, Gen, Hyperventilation, ILY, M/M, Nyctophobia, Panic Attacks, Post-Canon, also Coomer is refered to by his first name bc fuck you, bloody nose, this is not a happy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:00:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24565006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shugarcone/pseuds/shugarcone
Summary: (oops i forgot to add a summary for like three days sorry)There's a storm brewing. Gordon would be much happier if there wasn't.
Relationships: (IMPLIED), Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 22
Kudos: 213





	Push It Back Down Blackout Blood In Your Eye

**Author's Note:**

> three things  
> 1) lyrics from the title dont really fit the fic AT ALL but its my story and i get to pick the linkin park reference  
> 2) this idea isnt completely mine, i was reading some angsty anons that @batz on tumblr was getting and writing machine go brrrr  
> 3) i owned all of the ps1 games mentioned Except One. guess which correctly and you get nothing of value but ill give you praise in the comments I guess

Benry was pretty content. After everything that had happened, it felt like he was finally getting a happy ending. He was at Gordon’s house, the science team was in the kitchen making these little baked ham and cheese sliders (Bubby was _not_ allowed to use the oven but otherwise was allowed to help), and Gordon…

Gordon was snuggled up on his side, head on his shoulder watching him play 102 Dalmations: Puppies to the Rescue on his PS1.

"Laaame. Feetman doesn't even have an up-to-date console," he had initally said as Gordon had dusted the machine off.

Gordon had admitted, "I don’t even know if it still works. I haven’t touched it in years. That and I only have one controller…"

Benry had hoped it would function, if only to see what it was like. Unfortunately for him, Gordon didn't exactly have the best selection of games either (his library of games also included Reel Fishing, The Little Mermaid 2: Return to the Sea, Rugrats in Paris, NHL 2001, Bomberman Party Edition, Need For Speed 3: Hot Pursuit; what was with this selection?!). Benry had teased him a little but he didn't particuarly mind. Gordon had beaten this game before, several times apparently, and despite it being so long ago would occasionally give Benry pointers and tips. And as time went on Benry noticed Gordon scooting closer and closer. Before he knew it Gordon was practically cuddling with him. Benry pretended not to notice or care. He was bad at it.

They’d been playing for about an hour now, the sky outside dark as night began to fall along with rain that had steadily began to come down harder and harder. A storm must be passing through, but Benry paid it no mind.

"Bubby, would you be a dear and take these snacks out to the others awhile? I’ll have Tommy bring the rest out once they’re finished," he heard Harold ask from the kitchen, just barely audible over the sounds of the console.

No answer, but Bubby soon appeared in the doorway and he felt Gordon’s head perk up to see the scientist walk into the room with a small platter of sandwiches.

And just then the power went out. Everything was pitch black. Benry was about to complain when he suddenly felt Gordon shove him away and scurry to the other side of the couch with a yelp. The hell?

"Gordon are you alright?" Bubby called out, having heard Gordon’s cry. He sounded more confused than worried, but that tone of voice seemed to only upset Gordon further.

" **Get away from me!!** " he screamed, starting to hyperventilate.

Benry was more than concerned now, not fully understanding what was going on. He distantly could hear Harold and Tommy calling out to them from the kitchen after hearing Gordon screaming at the top of his fucking lungs, but he wasn’t processing what they were saying. It didn't help that the room was literally pitch black and he couldn’t even see Gordon. He could hear his heavy breathing, but that didn’t comfort him much since it was clear Gordon was having a full blown panic attack.

Cautiously, he put the controller aside and lifted himself from the couch. "Gordon," he began slowly, starting to step towards him "calm down." He didn't know if he should use the Sweet Voice, or if he could even aim it at Gordon properly in the dark. He’d rather not startle him further.

That being said, Gordon’s condition only seemed to worsen at this. Fuck, was he crying? It kinda sounded like it. Benry internally cringed with concern. Still he inched closer to Gordon.

" **Don’t touch me!!** " Gordon screeched, voice catching in his throat. He could hear Gordon shuffle in place, possibly trying to make himself smaller.

"The fucks wrong with you, bro?" Benry muttered, never one with words. He guessed he was in front of Gordon now, intimately aware of his panicked noises. It was heart wrenching.

Too bad he didn’t have time to think on it much further.

With another scream there was a suddenly a fist in his face and he fell to the floor with a thud.

The shouting and comotion around him that followed was far away from Benry’s thoughts. He groaned, reaching a hand to his nose and feeling something wet. "Shiiiiit…"

There was a flash of lightning and for a brief moment the room partially lit up. Gordon, he could see him, standing now in the harsh contrast of black and white. He was gripping his right wrist.

Oh.

The light was gone as quick as it appeared, and soon after thunder followed. All that could be heard after that was the pounding of rain and Gordon sobbing. Tommy and Harold had gone silent, possibly stopped by Bubby. Benry didn't know and to be frank he didn't care either. Even if he wanted to he was too lightheaded to think about it. He just stayed there panting and holding his nose. Fuck, it hurt. It hurt bad. Benry pushed out any thoughts of it possibly being broken.

After what felt like hours but was really only a little over a minute later, the lights flickered back on. Benry was still in a daze but the sudden light brought him to his senses, aside from his bleeding nose anyway. Tommy was quick to rush to his side, and Harold was soon by Gordon’s.

"Benry, you’re bleeding!" Excellent observation, Tommy. He wasn't upset with him anyway, so he said nothing, instead opting to let Tommy help him to his feet. He rubbed an eye with his hand, forgetting it was bloodied and immediately regretting it. He couldn’t look at Gordon.

Instead he turned towards Bubby. When had he dropped the platter? The sandwiches were strewn across the floor in front of him. He couldn't place the look on Bubby’s face. Benry wasn’t exactly good with emotions, even his own. Maybe that was why he was having trouble understanding this ache in his gut. 

“Perhaps we should go,” Bubby said solemnly. Benry only nodded. 

And they left, Tommy passing him some tissues on the way out. 

It took Benry much too long, in his opinion, to finally place that feeling he was having inside, but he eventually came to a conclusion.

Guilt. It was guilt.


End file.
